Press Conference (PM)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I have called you together to inform you of changes to the Anti-terrorism legislation. These changes were found to be necessary following the disgraceful and unseemly reception given to the Democratically elected PM of this country at the third State of Origin match on Wednesday.
Terroirists had infiltrated the crowd and whipped them into a frenzy of booing against me. Therefore it will no longer be sufficient to swear an oath of allegiance to Australia. From today, all immigrants will be required to swear an oath of allegiance to the democratically elected PM. Furthermore, Special Allegiance Units will be authorised to enter any Mosque and to require the Oath of Allegiance to the PM be taken by any worshipper. Furthermore, beginning as soon as practicable, all Australians over the age of 12 regardless of their nationality, citizenship or birthright will be required to take the oath of allegiance to the PM. In recognition of this imposition on the 52% aussies, a new public holiday is to be gazetted to be known as The Democratically Elected Prime Minister's Birthday Holiday. There will be no questions. Thank you.