a seven month reflection

This has not been an easy assignment I reflect as seven months of my tour of duty has just rolled over. At the end of June I will have served one third of my assignment. I am not doing as much as I should be doing, I am not doing the job I was brought here to do. Progress in getting the conditions set up for me to do my job has been frustratingly slow. I wonder if I am getting anywhere. Then again I wonder if I was brought here to get anywhere myself. Am I helping others and the country to get somewhere - I hope so but I can't see it. Discussing at Rotary the other night about East Timor I expressed the hope that PNG hotheads do not get encouraged by the violence there and my national mate J said PNG was different owing to provincialism and tribalism: they do not let one group carry on nation wide as they might be doing in ET. So to return, am I getting anywhere myself - personally - as distinct from the assignment's getting anywhere? Do I know myself any better and at 57 maybe I shouldn't be asking this question. That's not right either. If one decides one knows the self and there is no more growing to be done one may as well be like mature wheat and just fall out of the husk and die. That's not for me yet.