Memo: Members of the Press Gallery

The Prime Minister has noted the lack of quality journalism emanating the Canberra Gallery and to assist you with your journalistic efforts is kind enough to advise of the following functions for this week.
Monday, 8pm. PM watches replay of the historic 1948 Ashes series starring Sir Donald Bradman. PM advises he will jump out of his seat to provide a photo opportunity.
Tuesday, 8pm. PM watches replay of the historic 1956 Davis Cup final starring Lew Hoad and Ken Rosewall. PM will leap out of his seat and punch the air.
Wednesday, 8pm. PM watches replay of the opening of the 1956 Melbourne Olympic Games. PM will raise both hands when Menzies opens the Games.
Thursday, 8pm. PM watches of replay of Moon landing 1969. PM swings on ceiling fans at this triumph of American imperialism.
Friday. 8pm. PM watches replay of 1953 coronation of Queen Elizabeth. PM blesses himself when the Archbishop of Canterbury blesses the Queen.

Please make arrangements at the Press Office for your attendance and to pick up your passes. All viewings will be in the TV room at The Lodge.

Signed
S. Gordon Comequickly.
Press Officer.