John, why do you lie?

John, now listen up John willya. You gotta stop lyin' mate. It's gonna get you into trouble. Now John, this morning you told me, "The Government is not concerned about about an opinion poll predicting devastating losses for the Coalition" and then you also tell me, you cannot ignore the Government's recent poor poll results. Then you also tell me there's only one poll that counts John. Now John which one is it - that you are not concerned or that you can't ignore or there's only one poll that counts? John mate, you're gonna do damage to your crutch if you stand with legs astride a barb wire fence like that. Besides John, you gotta start accepting some blame. You're not taking this on the chin John. The punters are telling YOU something John and you are not hearing them. You said "Labor has successfully created the impression that it doesn't matter who is in Government." What are you sayin' John - that the punters are stupid and that Labor has tricked them with a prestidigitation David Wotsisname show? The 4% that decide elections are not stupid John. Mate, John, mate, you been lyin' for years. You gotter go to confession. But see even there John, I don't think you've got much cred with God either John. Go and study the 8th Commandment about not bearing false witness John. But seriously John, I think the punters are telling you they've had enough of you. If you love us so much, would you do anything for us John? You would? Then call an early election and get the hell outer here John. Oh, you don't love us that much after all. Another one of your lies John.