Caution: Do not take this seriously

Any resemblance to reality is coincidental. It is fiction.
"Mr President, it's Mr Burton on the line.
Hal, good to hear from you. What's doin' buddy?
Hiya George. We got a problem with our inventories. They're way too high. We need a war to get rid of some of our ordnance.
Well, you got anything specific in mind Hal?
Well there's this tin pot little joint Tasmania down the bottom of Asia I thought you might be able to invade.
Tasmania? Nope, haven't heard of that one. Condi, what you got on Tasmania? Are they good guys or bad guys?
Well it sounds East European but it's not coming up on my list of UN countries. It could be one of these non-aligned states like Myanmar. How do you spell it?
Tasmania with a T. Down near Antarctica.
State Department hasn't got anything on it. How do you know about it Hal?
It's on my durn atlas in front of me. You gotter have somethin.
Well fax the page over and we'll do a satellite flyover.
Yeah, Hal, these little joints they change their names like Clinton changes his sheets. That's a good start for an invasion. If they've connections with AQ or Iran then Condi will get the Diplomatic Incident task force onto it. It could take a day or two to manufacture an incident but we could probably get a war on say by the end of the week. How does that sound?
Thanks buddy. Knew I could count on you.
A little while later.
Mr Burton, it's the President.
George, thanks for getting back. What have you got?
Yeah Hal, the news isn't good. Tasmania isn't an independent state which is why we couldn't find it. It belongs to Australia and State Department says they're on our side. They're good guys.
Durn it. Well can Condi check out this other place? New Zealand. It sort of sounds foreign.