Values Police - Violation Code 3. Melbourne Cup Day

Dear Sir/Madam,
It has been disclosed that you are in breach of aussie Values Code 3.1.a/vi, to wit: "An aussie will stop whatsoever heretofore and to wit for the Race that stops a Nation."

If you wish to contest this charge you should attend the first Ashes Test and make yourself known to the authorites. You should dress appropriately wearing an I love Shane t shirt, thongs and stubbies.

You may however plead guilty and spare yourself this embarrassment. You will still need to attend the Ashes Test and a guilty plea will result in the punishment as follows:
1. Sing the "vance" part of Advance Straya Fair for 6 2/3 beats longer than anyone else.
2. Chant aussie oi aussie oi ten times when Langer comes in.
3. Throw 2 half empty beer cans close to an English fielder.

Signed. Constable for aussie Values (Cultural and Sporting Standards Division)