outback to jungle

Musings on experiences of volunteering in Papua New Guinea with some gratuitous domestic social and public comment

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

being mainstream versus being individual

Who is game enough to move out of the mainstream, to be branded a weirdo or a loner or some other racist or derogatory put-down? What if Jesus had remained mainstream and played the game of the scribes and elders? Or the Beatles? Or Van Gogh or Salvadore Dali? Or Mozart? Or Lenin? Would the world have been spared a lot of grief? What if Galileo had agreed the world was flat? Or Martin Luther agreed the Pope was infallible? What if the Estates General or the American colonies had not said enough is enough? What if Abraham Lincoln and Wilberforce had not thought that slavery was a big deal? What if Jessie Owens or Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi or the lady on the bus who didn't give up her seat for a white man had just accepted their lots in life? Or Nelson Mandela? Or if Ho Chi Minh thought it was ok for colonisers from Europe to own his country? What if my Bank Manager had not taken a risk with me in my Motel? Or if the University had thought I'd had one chance too many?
Am I living through the beginning of the end of the age of the mainstream? The age of mass communication made individualism invisible and unpopular because it was too hard to be individual when it looked as if the rest of the world was homogenous.

1 Comments:

At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been considered "odd" all my life, by my family, by people who don't know me, by mostly everyone. It might be because:

1. I'm a bookworm and apparently reading is uncool in some circles

2. I'm of mixed race but I look white

3. My hobbies and interests are unlike most people I know

4. I tend to befriend people who are outsiders too

5. I have a severe learning difficulty but I'm artistically inclined

All of this somehow distanced people from me although I wanted friendships and deep down, I wanted people to like me...no matter how strange they thought I was.
It hurt me when other people misunderstood me or said something unkind, but especially when my boyfriend of five years started to do that too. He would call me a "fucking weirdo" or "small-minded" or "idiot" for no reason...and he hadn't said that before in the earlier years of our relationship. He said I had the smallest brain of anyone he knew in front of his friends, and they all laughed at me. I felt like shit because of his constant put-downs and I threw a cup of Smirnoff at him. I broke up with him because if somebody I love disrespects me because of perceived differences, I'm finished with that person.

Hindsight is 20/20. Looking back, there were many times he was very unkind towards me and I took it because I thought no one could ever love a "weird" girl like me. People have called me names all my life because I'm different. I'm a twentysomething female, so I was never one of these people who "try" to be different. Being different and odd is no fun most of the time. People stare for no reason when you walk by, they make comments, and they're unpleasant. I look tidy, I wear decent clothes, and I'm polite...but they still see some difference in me. Black girls aren't supposed to look like me, with straight hair and white skin and aquiline looks. I was never invited to parties in high school and sometimes my then-boyfriend blew me off b/c in his words, I was "annoying and weird".

You're on the money about one aspect of being perceived as weird though...when you're "weird", you can be a broader freer person in so many ways. You can live outside of the box unlike so many others who have not been labeled. You can be an artist, a poet, a teacher, a healer, a visionary. You don't have to conform to society if you're "weird". You can be yourself and march to your own drum. Like all those people you mentioned who weren't afraid to be non-conformists. As somebody who has been hit with the "weird" label and socially ostracized by other people, you learn to weed out the folks who aren't true to themselves. Being "weird" has taught me how to be a creative, intellectual, caring person...so yeah, there's a bright side to it. When you're an individual, that shows so much backbone. You don't show individuality by calling yourself "goth" or "prep" or "emo" or whatever...you show it by not being a follower or denying who you really are, what you believe in.

 

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